Saturday, June 30, 2007
9:39 PM
Out Of My HeadAs I'm typing this a few things come to mind : 1.) What did i want to say? 2.) Is it my com lagging or am I typing slow? 3.) I think everything is moving in slow motion. Should i post another time when im not lucid/sane? 4.) Whoever bothers to read on further is a moron. 5.) I don't know why i just insulted you. Sorry. Its as if my brain is foggy today. Im constantly mis-typing Just to prove it i shall now stop retyping all my mistypes.
Ok so i forgot wad i was about toi sy and i dun now why i won jus close e window n stop typing. my mind is a blur............Hmm
How does one convery(convery)[convey!!!] something clearly when she is mentally unclear. and btw i tried to type convery but ended up with convery. the next time i typed i still typed convery. 3rd time's the charm. =) i think tt rlly shouws (shows) u my current state of mind. don't worry i've already pat my own sholders with understanding notes of "yes... ok.. ya.. ya.. " in case u were wonderiung. =) do u want a fedun? urghh tis is annoying.
My question was : Do you want a fedun? NOOOO AGAIN I TYPED WROINGLY!!! IM NOT DOING TIS ON PURPOSE PEOPLE!!!!!
AGAIN!
My question was: Do you want a refund>? Becos if ppl had to pay to read blogs.. i should give back refunds for wasting all you time.( i meant YOUR time. ) GRRRRRRRRR.
Shall stop typing right away.
Saturday, June 23, 2007
7:49 PM
Breathe MeOne of the biggest fears I have is losing my memory. It might seem like this is coming out of nowhere.. it is. heh. I just saw a .. the most tear-jerking, heartbreakingly realistic video. I sobbed so uncontrollably to this one because it is just so true to life. And it's about love and seperation and death. We'll all lose our parents one day, some of us will get married, some of us will lose our closest friends or siblings, and then it'll be our turn to go.... I don't know.. just thinking about it all makes me so terribly sad. damnnit why did i have to see that video?... But it also made me kind of reminisce about the good years i've had, the good times i've had.. I'm at this point where I'm trying to hold on to this last year in secondary school.. like i don't wanna forget those little things y'know? Jeez what an emotional wreck i am right now... sigh... life life life... so beautiful, it makes me cry.P.S: ok i alrdy said i was gonna say something uplifting after an emotional post... Hmm.. Right ok, when Ms Betsy Teo said that 70% of the ads out there are targetted at us teens, i want to just assume that all the ads are targetted for us... so i was thinking.. what about BEIJING 101? or YUNAM HAIR CARE? Yeah. Right now i am wondering ... How the hell is this uplifting?!To that, i say... Meow! Weee! KAkaw! *whip noise*
Thursday, June 21, 2007
3:14 PM
Somewhere Over The Rainbowwow.. that was my 1st emo post since i revamped my blog. I personally feel like i should start a trend here. Like how i made the titles of every post a song title... So for every emo post i do. The P.S will have something ENCOURAGING and EMPATHETIC , NICE and HAPPY and the world would seem to be filled with rabbits and rainbows and fairies fluttering around magical gardens with sparkling fountains and then a hippie will step into view and i'd kill him.. And i would know that everything would be okay . That the world is right again. LOL yeh . Will perk right up!
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
6:32 PM
Why I just want to get this off my chest and it's about something that has happened quite some time ago, but i never clarified anything. So here it is.
I know he thinks that i'm throwing my weight around. He's probably been thinking that for the longest time. I just found that out early this year. I overheard a conversation straight from the horse's mouth.. And it hurt. He was accusing me of throwing my weight around, then he made inferences of why that is.. Hurtful, baseless, shallow and untrue guesses.
SO THIS IS THE DRIVING FORCE FOR THE WAY HE'S BEEN TREATING ME.
To think someone would think that i would take advantage of something like this and use it to throw my weight around. I would never use it to do anything remotely close to that. And for the record, I never have.
What was said hurt me and I have cried so instantaneously in my life as i did. Its not that he misunderstood.. its WHAT he misunderstood. And how he's been treating me because he thinks that of me. And even though it's not true.. it just rips me.
Dont read the following cos its emo... (and i want to keep my face)
How many times do
I have to try to tell you
That I'm sorry for the things I've done
But when I start to try to tell you
That's when you have to tell me
Hey...this kind of trouble's only just begun
I tell myself too many times
Why don't you ever learn to keep your big mouth shut
That's why it hurts so bad to hear the words
That keep on falling from your mouth
I may be mad
I may be blind
I may be viciously unkind
But I can still read what you're thinking
And I've heard it said too many times
That you'd be better off
Besides...Why can't you see this boat is sinking
Some things are better left unsaid
But they still turn me inside out
This is the book I've never read
These are the words I've never said
This is the path I'll never tread
These are the dreams I'll dream instead
This is the joy that's seldom spread
These are the tears...The tears we shed
This is the fear
This is the dread
These are the contents of my head
And these are the years that we have spent
And this is what they represent
And this is how I feel
I don't think you know what I fear
P.S: LOL i got it off my chest and after 20mins im all better so lol.. i feel like wad i wrote was so emo. Im your new emo buddy! Get me while stocks last!
Friday, June 15, 2007
7:32 PM
Not An AddictRoar to you all. As uneventful days are going by- literally, even the shopping! - i thought i'd post some of the very bland things that are going on..Let's see... I've been forcing myself to read The Red Badge of Courage, purely as homework cos it ain't my type of book. but its not a bad book or anything..Boring yeh?What else? Oh yeh. I am in desperate need of a dose of Grey's. I nid my gddamn Grey's fix right NOW!!!! NOW GDDMMIT!!!I am experiencing withdrawal symptoms here. All the symptoms - mental n physical - apply. I'm sweating, convulsing uncontrollably, tearing up, my nose is running, I'm nauseous and feverish, I've been throwing up..... uggh its terrible i tell ya. Mentally, i just have one symptom, and that's manifested by indiscriminate bullshitting.So i've been reading, air shopping and bullshitting.. what else?.. hmm.. Oh yes. lazing around at home when i'm not out. Somehow the M.O (like they say in CSI heh.) for studying ain't there. I feel lethargic all day long. I know.. Action comes first. Then motivation. hard to push myself when my brain is so tired. Anyways.... i'll sign off here.One more important thing. I stand corrected that Allison shouldn't have left.
ps: Not e best choice for e post's title. Cos the song is super duper depressing. But none of u know the song, so for all u noe it fits the post cos theres e word addict there. lol. ok nvm.-If that's your boyfriend if that's your boyfriend He wasn't last night..
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
7:08 PM
Hold You In My ArmsOh man.. These days, i dunno what's been coming over me, but i've been in such a romantic mood. I dunno why and i can't help it!!! I feel like i'm ready to be swept away...... .....This is sooo sooo unlike me! Oh damnnit.. I feel nostalgic. Ok all these powerful d*****s are kicking in and its..... oh my god.. y'know? I'm being swept away by tunes like " I could hold you in my arms... I could hold on forever...." Because its direct. Its not cheesy or fake because Its sung with such honesty. I love that.And im swooning over Sade - By Your Side, Robin Thicke - Lost Without You, Brian Mcknight - Crazy Love, Ray LaMontagne - Within You.... etc.I think the most appropiately sane question would be....WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?!?! I don mind it or anyting.. it just feels sudden. Cos where the hell did it come from>? Nothing's happened.. hmmm delayed reaction? Shld i call up my ex-es and tell em what they needed 2 hear frm me then, tell em what im feeling NOW.. even tho its got nth to do with them? LOL tis is crazy. nonono... The logical conclusion is that i'm falling deeeeeply in love with myself. =)))
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
10:50 AM
High School Never Ends
Cool. So ytd was the 2e class gathering.. we had a barberque!! It was great! Actually better den i thot. I guess i felt like an outcast when i was in sec 2,maybe cos i was new to the class, so i was hesitant, but anyways.. this reunion was fun!At 1st elaine n i reached n WHOOPS there were only 2 ppl there. Pinhui n Ziyi. N we were like, "I tot we were late.. its 6pm!" Cos we were all supposed to be there by 5, and SOMEONE, i wont say that it's THERESA, asked me to come as early as possible. Turns out the 9am gang (whom i felt compelled to conspire against but didnt) were all late. They got lost!!!Finally they came and we started this thing.And was fun!! I felt hot and sticky thru-out but it was all good. And a few ppl didnt make it tho.. Yifen.. i thot u said you'd be there.. Qy too.
Okay that's it. A bit of a lacklustre post cos i jus woke up and all.. All i have to say is that i HAD FUN.... the thing was FUN. BUT.... (yup theres a but) Something happened on my way back.. after i seperated wif elaine.. something terribly embarrassing.. nono, beyond embarrassing happened. I'll leave it at that becos i can never ever and WILL never ever tell any1.And trust me, you dont want to know. Im not exaggerating anything. Its really.. ugh.P.S : to ppl who really REAALLY wanna know.. if you're one of those ppl who just cant stand it when you get your stories half told and you like to marinate in your endings.. or if you're one of those who always get your way and you always manage to wheezle the answers outta someone... well.. ok.. fine. I wasn't gonna say this at first, because i was being thoughtful....That's really too bad for you, cos I'm not gonna tell!!!!!P.P.S: Haha! I really wished you were tricked! =) =) =)!! hey. there's layers in the P.S tease, ok! so now u noe wad i meant when i was being "thoughtful".. I didnt want to have to say that earlier becos i was NICE. den Jocelyn (holler!) had to make me clarify things so i had to be mean. BLAME HER!.
I feel like this is like "Understanding the Writer's Craft". Helps you in you compos-w/o-the-t and essay LOL
Saturday, June 09, 2007
4:02 PM
Makes Me Wonder
Finally!! I revived my blog!!!
I had a lil makeover.. as in this blog - not me. Technically i look the same... except for a few extra pounds.. Okay i wouldnt know that cos i didn't weigh myself, but it feels like it.
Any other physical change would be my barely noticeable haircut, and a persistent pimple on my nose. Hmm... wth is tt abt..
Okay enough wif the self-abuse. Since this is my very FIRST POST (first in 2 months) Maybe i should make it clear to all, lest the 1st paragraph misled you, that i do in fact, LOVE MYSELF. =)!! I'm great! =)))!
Its super important to love yourself! Self-love baby!!! Also, I dont have anything better to say. Nada. Zilch.
But i do pride myself for having wasted a little of your time! *winks* !
So how am i doing 4 my 'debut' post? Good yeh?
No?! Not enough sarcasm? Narcissistic yet self-loathsome comments? What abt humor? It rhymes with tumor.
Okay that came off the top of my head. Here, I'll help write out what you're thinking : ..................../ wtf/ wth/ diao/ more dots/lame/ dumb/ stupid/ idiotic/ all that was mentioned.
That again came off the top of my head. .
Hey, at least this post didn't have anything depressing in it. I didn't write about a dog dying. Or anyone dying. No forbidden love story. No tragic tale of a sad miserable pathetic life. Definitely no incest... ...... Seriously, if you want drama, go grab your emo buddy (we all have one of those..hehe) and watch a sad movie. Actually, you can jus hang out with your emo buddy and ask him/her one of 2 questions:
!CAUTION!
ASK AT YOUR OWN RISK
How are you?
or
What's been going on with you lately?
I guarantee instant popcorn-movie worthy melodrama happening!! So hurry, and grab your favorite emo buddy today! While stocks last!!
PS: Okay Im sorry .. but u all know what i meant by 'while stocks last' rite..? They're.. suicidal.. ? Its funny but not so funny. Okay very UN-funny.
Public Statement:
On behalf of myself, I would like to apologise to every single emo out there, I do not regard and do not condone Emo-bashing as a form of humor. I am regretful and did not mean to imply that Emos are marketing products, and I am ashamed of my outrageous remarks. It was beneath my own personal standards and I sincerely hope that this sentiment is accepted.... and if i was a more sensitive person - a better person - , I would have erased that portion away from this post. Sadly, I am not..
And lastly, kids, dont make fun of emo people.... .... make fun of emo-posers. LOL.
Public apology to emo-posers........
lol.. i keep offending ppl . this will never end. haha.
How's THAT for a debut post? My personal best. now i shall sign off happy and self-satisfied.. And FYI all my posts will be titled after some appropiately random songs.
Woohoo!! Till next time... This is your friendly SG heroin-with-no-e!!